Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Fanfics read: X-Men Orgy (xmeno.txt) 69 Hues of Meta Hosting a Podcast for the End of the World (by BusterManwomb) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

This is it, the last episode of Season 12! After this, we're taking the Summer off and then we'll see if we can come back occasionally once the Fall hits, but we will not longer be doing weekly episodes! The era of guests is over! IT IS THE END TIMES (no the show is not dying I swear)! And we're going out the way we came in: reading bad fanfic. One last diddlefic by Buster Manwomb before *the hibernationing* begins. It's been quite a journey getting to this zenith, now how the hell do we get down?

In all seriousness, as we shift into this new phase of podcast existence, thank you to everyone who's helped us make it this far. Happy Pride month to all, as well. We'll see you when we see you. This is not the last time you'll hear us reading smut! Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Strip Dreidel (by tprillahfiction) Waluigi's Supermassive Black Hole (by MenagerieOfDarkness) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Second to last episode of the Season and by golly we're still reading about Star Trek and Waluigi. Our lives are a warped kaleidoscope, a bizarre cornucopia of paths crossing where none should ever meet. Anyways, here's some sexy times featuring Jewish Beyblades.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Diners, Drive Ins, and Masturbation (by orphan_account) Vegeta’s Saturday Night (by Kuri_tsuka) HIS LEATHER IS TOO THICCCCC (by UnstableUniverses) Mikey and Leo's Love Lives (by mikeysgirl99) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Tom White (heisanevilgenius)

There's a lot to unpack in this episode but it has Danny DeVito, vibrating beds, panic attacks, ugh, eggs, WWE Immortals, and turtlecest. There's more but I kinda blocked it out. Tom White is here, maybe ask him since none of us remembers.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: 69 Hues of Dipshits Mitch McConnell's Potluck Orgy and Shrek preggers (by BusterManwomb) Resident Evil Village but awesome (by frosneibv) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

The core crew nips the last bit of the McConnell thing in the bud and then reads about tall vampire lady. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: The Crackship Armada Sails Again, AKA Soulmate Shorts Part 2 (by ozhawk) 69 Hues of Dipshits Mitch McConnell's Potluck Orgy and Shrek preggers (by BusterManwomb) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

I feel like we're stuck in some kind of time anomaly. Life keeps going by so fast but nothing is changing, progress is at a standstill. We tread into god's domain, and we were unprepared. We shouldn't have meddled. We shouldn't have nom'd the lettuce. Save us. Save us from...the Mitch. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: please don’t read this (by orphan_account) Mating Time in the Digital World (by Raktul) smut stories me and my friends write of out ocs (by orphan_account) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Disdonn

You know you're in for a good time when we get a fanfic titled "please don't read this". Disdonn guests as we dive into the depraved depths with Digimon and then furry Alucard.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Martin Luther King Jr. gets busy with the Green M&M (by Hitlertheduck) What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor (by Halrloprillalar (prillalar)) Berniks the Mittened (by Roxanne_says_go_home) 

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Shawn, Rose

Ah, Maryland in the Spring. A whole week (aggregate) of lovely temperatures ruined by rain and being interspersed between random snowstorms and wind gales. Oh, you're here for the fanfic episode. Right.

In this episode we come full circle, or rather ovoid, as we tackle the hard hitting topic of racism. MLK fucks the green M&M. Didn't think I'd ever write that sentence. Then we read some Star Wars gay drug fucking, and finally a story about new mittens and an uncomfortable chair. Rose joined in and contributed to the terrible ideas and even worse candy rankings.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Dio Buys an Xbox Controller for his Nintendo Wii (by coldcupofwater) A Yankee Demon Hunter in An English Prince’s Bed (by chewysugar) Pour Some Sugar On Me (by SilverPickles) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Mana, Sunny

David says: "Here's your episode, please enjoy. Like, Comment, Survive."

It was a good episode that trimmed is still over two hours long. Seriously, these descriptions would spoil so many jokes if I mentioned what went on during it. This is Hall of Fame material though, guaranteed*

*not a guarantee

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: The Puppet That Cursed My Dick (by Limecola) Maternal Instincts (by orphan_account) Cum on the Sand 50 Cent x Muriel (by PonyUpDaddy) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Don't say The Peepee Poopoo Man Don't think The Peepee Poopoo Man And whatever you do don't have sex with Sans. I've given up trying to figure out even the slightest hint of where an episode is going anymore. We read Goosebumps, Beastars, and Courage the Cowardly Dog fanfic. Oh, and Don't eat that french fry off the ground. You'll get a cum cold. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: The Holy Re-Virgining of Cloud Strife (by ShipyardMcGill) Coitus Interruptus (by Angelily_Viventis) An Argonian and his Sex (by ShadowFlamedramon126) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Mish

I need to stop mentally projecting the concept of "next week can't be as bad as this week" because *flails at everything*.

In this lovely romp, which features Mish as a guest reader, we traipse through some FF7 Star Wars...smut? I guess it counts as smut to someone. Enjoy those included images in the fanfic, btw. Fucking nightmare fuel. Then we visit the spirit of Alan Rickman having the runs. Finally, we discuss the finer points of Argonian homo-sex in all the juicy, slithery details.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Palentine's Day (by Enpasii) Beavis and Butthead, Meet Mrs. Brisby (by Care A Lot) Aftermath Desolation Point (by CyberWolf SgtJay) The Arrow Gets Horny (by tfsideblog) A Slash Pine Romance (by Farfalla) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

All you need to know is this episode took over 30 hours to edit. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: ~Iubire nemuritoare~ (by PhoenixMakesJams) Look at the bright side of things (by Gaming_fanfics) Ginger's Inside Story (by N01) Fifty three years ago (by Kelltu (2xcross)) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Riley

In what can only be classified under international law as "a clusterfuck" of an episode, we get all five together again AND have a guest to go through four stories that have fuck all to do with one another. We find out about what drugs were available during World War 2, discuss geometry, and Logan gets upset when he is robbed of mpreg. Just your typical Wednesday night.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Baby-Sitters Club and Scooby Doo The Fire Mystery at the Cemetery (by MaryAnnefan4Life) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Lack

I laughed a lot during this episode. That's all I got, this one really needs to be heard to be experienced properly. Thanks to Matt for being our guest this episode! Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: UA's Sex Counselor and Advisor (by Kenchi Narukami) i'm just a horny little lovesick mess (by mouthsoup) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

Happy almost New Year to one and all! 2021 sucked but we know that! 2022 is also going to suck in some capacity but hopefully not as bad! Celebrate the right way by listening to our last Hentaimas episode. That's all I got, enjoy! Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Bitch, I Fucked Santa!! (by HeatherSinclair) Dear Santa, I've been naughty (by Staadtal) Zootopia Partners in More Ways Than One (by Sage of Discord) Scrooge x ghost!marley (by Jackiemetcalfe1952) In The Office (by Serenity1) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Woofy

A Hentaimas Miracle where all five hosts got to be together at least once more before the end of the year! Woofy joins as guest as we read to naughty stories about Christmas, one naughty story about bunny and fox cops, one more really naughty story about Christmas but not about Santa, and then continuing the trend of geriatric gay sex, a story about Mr. Burns. We wish you all a happy whatever you celebrate and if you don't celebrate anything a happy fucking Friday!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: 69 Hues of Writer's Block A Very Manwomb Christmas (by BusterManwomb) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Buster Manwomb

We keep missing episodes because of illness, I really am wondering if someone is circulating voodoo dolls of at least one of the hosts and applying cruel and gross conditions to them. Anyways, we kick off the December times in earnest by creating our new FNF holiday: Hentaimas! We have no idea what's involved but we like the name and despite any reddit forums to the contrary we are totally the first people to think of it.

To celebrate we read Buster Manwomb Christmas fanfic and somehow summon them into our realm to read with us. We can now confirm that they are not one of the hosts and we can possibly dovetail one of the longer running bits of the show. Or not, I can't predict the future. That's Logan's job.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read:A Discovery Not Made (by orphan_account)Calling a Truce (by ElwritesFanworks)Five-Star Man (by rillrill) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

Another core of four episode but this time Val gets swapped in for Logan! One of these days maybe all five will be together. Or not. This timeline is weird anyway.

We start off by reading about Thanksgiving (AMERICAN Thanksgiving) with fanfic about Columbus. Then after undiscovering American, we read about Skyrim and the taught political divides over racial supremacy and also sex. Finally, we fill out those survey cards and figure out who the five star man is in Philadelphia, which is Always Sunny. Happy Veterans Day, everyone!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Capitol Coup But With Grandpa Sex (by Just_Spite) A for... (by crossingwinter) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Waffle

Second guest spot this season is Waffle, who joins us midway through some steam Passover Star Wars fanfiction. Okay, lemme back up a second. We started off reading about the January 6th Insurrection but its all sexy and shit. Then we started reading about Rey's anal fantasizing of Ren before going to Passover and getting shitfaced. It was a trip, and no you cannot hear the uncensored version. Nobody can. It's too powerful. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Dune: The Cock Worship of Muad'Dib (by Jamie Smith) At the Heart of it All (by Steadfxst) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

Aight so yeah Val will show up around Christmas because of her classes but otherwise we strive on! Recovering from the Spongebob fanfic from last week, we go with something a little bit more relevant to current events. There's a new Dune movie, so we read old fanfic of the Dune books (and not Dhoom the Bollywood thriller). We spend a good chunk reading about the cock worship and nun tit slapping, and then we read something else! That something else being fanfic of John Stewart and the Daily Show. It's gooey and sticky and attemptedly sexy. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: A Radiator Springs Orgy (by daddychat) Squid's Ward (by diesir) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

Brief description because this is already late in posting! Val is probably out until Christmas because of school! This is our first episode with guests in it! Beth and Sam join as the first guests of Season 12 wherein we read about a Cars orgy, Squidward's barnacle, and Stevo gets yelled at for talking about his work friend named Guido. Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Ice Orgy of the Guardians Winter Soltsex (by FuckmanJenkins) purr hormones (by logicalheart) 

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Shawn

And we already lost another host for a week., ha ha haaaaaaaaa.

Stevo, Logan and Shawn revisit the world of Rise of the Guardians and there's lots and lots and lots of awful sex going on. Then they go to the realm of Star Trek TOS where they ordered a round of Leonards on Spock sandwiches and eschew the virtues of grape nuts.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: the excelent tf2 storey colection of good original storeys (by smalldad (logoleptic)) Cup of Coffee (by SiminaCindy) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

First episode of the new Season and already Val is missing in the episode. Yeesh. Hope the last few months have treated you well. We're tired of living in these awful, interesting times, but we're coming back to doing what we do because we know you missed us. Even if you got that restraining order against us, we know deep down you still care. Stevo, David, Logan and Shawn kick off Season 12 with Team Fortress 2 and Cuphead fanfics. That's about all I got out of it, and I just finished editing it. It gets weird, y'all. Sorry about the anti-ASMR, but we offer no refunds.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: The Very Secret Diaries (by Indybaggins) The Very Secret Diaries of Saint Augustine (by Jay Tryfanstone (tryfanstone)) Jareth's Secret Diaries (by KBates) Bella Swan, Pregnant and Furious (by ComicsNix)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

It's the end of Season 11! And you know what that means? Spriummer cleaning! Yes, a completely made up thing I used just as an excuse to cull through a trio of Very Secret Diaries-inspired stories and then one ComicsNix. First, it's a Very Secret Who's Line Is It Anyway British Version Gay Sexfest. Then, it's a biblical (?) very secret religious diary. After that, it's the very sexy diary of the Goblin King. Finally, when we all got fed up with reading about secrets and diaries, we reread an old classic from ComicsNix featuring Bella Swan, god, satan, pirates, ninjas, aliens, and monks. And then we stopped recording!

We hope you've enjoyed Season 11 along with us. It's been by far our most unique, long, and inconsistent one since we started the show. But overall, we're happy with it, and we look forward to coming back after the Summer wind has finished blowing in and out again. Patreon is paused for the duration of the Summer, and we start the live recordings again on September 1st. If you're eligible and able, please make sure you get vaccinated if you haven't already done so. Continue to social distance and whatnot, since we really want to get back to planning our next IRL FNF get together. Our discord will still be hopping with activity even during the off-Season months, and we will hopefully see you there. Season 12 we are tentatively planning to go back to having guests come on the show, but that really entirely depends on the hosts' life circumstances once we resume. Take care of yourselves, and each other, and enjoy your June, July and August!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Love Makes Bucky Dilate (by Van_Nasa) Star Wars Aftershock (by Austin Seville) Reasons To Walk Into A Mysterious Forest With Someone You Know Over The Communicator (by FullmetalDude1) 

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn

It's just the cum episode. Literally. Almost everything is about cum, or other fluids. From cookie batter to tentacle secretions this one is all about the icky gooness. First another AU Avengers thing involving Bucky and a concussion, then some kinda weird Chipmunks Star Wars crossover that we didn't get very far in, and then a whole lotta Voltron sexytime. Now I must shower.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Oh Yeah Mr. Krabs (by DepressedHorse) Elaine's Slut World (by Jack_Persona) The NASCAR Heist (by witapepsi) Mitch McConnell x Reader Lemon (by The_Shame_Basement) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Only a few more episodes to go left in this Season! We teased it for a good bit but we finally get around to reading some SpongeBob erotica and oh boy was it erotic maybe kinda we talked a lot about rental properties for some reason. Then we read some Seinfeld, because we're slowly making our way across the sitcom fanfic universe. After that, more NASCAR! but this time with Parappa. And finally, Logan reads about having sex with Mitch McConnell. I have nothing more to add on this.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Link fights for women's rights (by Nonbendo) Pizza Delivery (by Dragon Rider and Story Seeker) The Greatest Challenge (by Nonbendo) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

This really is just the pizza time Season, isn't it? We read two stories by nonbendo, both involving Link and one involving women's rights and the constitution, but in between we read about Spider-Man because of course we do. It's pretty radical, though! Tubular even! Other 90's surfer lingo can be inserted here until you're sick of it which you probably already are.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Steamed Hams but it’s Garashir (by StellaRivers) Garak’s Very Special Gift (by Sunnie0023) fifty shades of ventilation (by sonicstasia) Cowboy Bebop (by Peter Chimaera) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

Sorry for missing a week last week, let's just pretend it didn't happen, k? This episode we reverse the absence with Logan missing and David back but it works out cause he does an okay Garashir impression. We only read a small amount of fanfic this time, capping off with another DS9 fanfic about Garashir but involving babies, Sonic in 50 shades of pfffttfbffbfbf, and Cowboy Bebop but it's not actually Cowboy Bebop. After that we get to some Naked Opinions questions cause it's been quite a while and I can assure you the side show isn't dead, it'll come back eventually just like my sexlife hopefully. Wait why did I type that no google don't publish delete draft delete draft oh f

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: I wanna be the guy who loves a fruit (by KennySheep) Steamed Hams but it’s Garashir (by StellaRivers) 69 Hues of Meta Friday Night Fanfiction undoes a kerfuffle (by BusterManwomb) Good Boy (by seeyourcolorsrun) 

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn

I'm writing this summary while watching God-King Texas and Chicken Homed Greg fight very bad golf greens so I really don't have many thoughts on the matter right now. We read some fanfic about I wanna be the guy, Star Trek DS9, and...ourselves?! What the retcon? Oh, and we read some Simpsons fic.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Ergonomic Love (by Wolley and Sara4thewin) Air Pockets (by WildAndFreeHearts) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Sara, Wolley

Now, hear me out. Don't immediately go all murderous mob with pitchforks and whatnot on me. This is the only episode of this Season that will have guests, and it's due to multiple factors. 1) They wrote the damn story and 2) one of them is a FNF staff member so we made an exception in this case. Also we had this planned out, like, almost a month in advance, and even then it almost didn't happen due to timing and technical difficulties.

ANYWAYS, we read about Markiplier fucking a chair. Then we read about queefs. Then we answered naked opinions questions for a bit cause I think we may have run out of funny but apparently we didn't so it's still worth listening to. I dunno dude, I still can't get over the chair fucking thing.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Friender Bender (by thrillbro_swaggins) Clowning Around (by MizuPhoenix) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

This episode really goes places. It mostly goes to Dave, though. Dave simultaneously throws everyone under the bus AND shows them up. We read two stories that very much flex our reference capability: Metalocalypse and Star Wars. Oh yeah, strap in and get ready to ride that rollercoaster.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Coitus Rudely Interruptus (by unknown) Freddy Fazbear's Jizzeria (by FuckmanJenkins) Touched By An Angel (by Dragonsploosh) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Wow, is it really April already? Shit, what happened to March, and the entirety of 2020? Well, no matter, we are still here, still reading, just like that dude who kept pushing the kidney stones up the hill forever in some mythology. This time we got Attack on Titan, Five Nights at Freddy's, and Dr. Who. Now if you'll excuse me, it's MY turn to get a ride on the conveyor belt. I got vaccinated, after all.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Taking a Dip (by NoWindForThisHole) Riza Hawkeye, Cock Inspector (by Anne Packrat) A Gift for Mommy (by Tafyapyap) Jar Jar and Warhammer, 40,000 (by Srelex) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

It's late and I am tired so just pretend I wrote something here about the stories we read and made vague suggestions about some of the tangents we went off on in this episode. Friggin' waifu husbando lists.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: BALTO NASCAR Adventures (by Alexander C-BEAR Blake) Boromir Is A Pervy Hobbit Fancier (by Not_You) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Warning: There is a lot of yelling in this episode. I mean, a LOT of yelling. This one physically hurt at times to edit. That's how bad it was. We read about Balto and gang getting into NASCAR adventures, and then had to switch over to some Lord of the Rings Hobbit stuff because I couldn't take the screaming anymore. I hope it was worth the effort!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Crazy Dave's Crazy Kinks (by daddychat) Females Aren't Everything (by Tafyapyap) Peaceful Fields of Milk and Titties (by ThunderCant) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

Val gets stuck on the moon this episode (no seriously, life is just so hard to coordinate right now). Filled with tangents and dad-jokes, we read PvZ fic, Pokémon fic, and some Resident Evil fic before just giving in to the randomness. 

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Encounter II (by VsaFic) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

In this albeit short-ish episode, the available crew reads some League of Legends smut because David asked for it. Of course, he lost interest in it and we went off on a million other conversations so at the end we just guessed at how much rule34 existed of various things. Be sure to boil your pasta for 72 hours at a minimum.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read:

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn God-Speed (by CanadianHospitality) Jesus Goes To Space (by ialwayswannabewithu) Trevor Discovers a Dodgy Letter in the Belmont Vault (by GlitterNyappyGacktRose) Seductress (by JustSpirky) 

Jesus Christ. We read about Jesus Christ. Actually, we read two stories about Jesus Christ. And you can probably guess what kind of jokes ensued. We also read about Castlevania and Cars. It was a well rounded fuckfest, won't you enjoy?

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: MOCKFICK Book 2 - Technically The First (by Popful) Easing one's mind (by Veltana) Cloud Strife The Dirty Window Cleaner (by Jack Russel) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Logan's back again! Noticing a pattern? Cause I definitely am not. He's totally not going to constantly pop in and out for the remainder of the season. Nope, not at all. But now that he IS back, we got to finish the MOCKFICK Book 2, and read two more stories. The first one was specifically for Logan called Easing One's Mind, about Magic the Gathering. And then the next one was just fun for everyone, called Cloud Strife The Dirty Window Cleaner. Spoiler: he doesn't actually do a lot of window cleaning in it. Surprised, I know.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Simulated (by daybreaks (chrisonfire)) MOCKFICK Book 2 - Technically The First (by Popful) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

Logan, still stuck on the moon or whatever, is the only one missing from this episode as we delve into our first fanfic about You Gee Ohhhh. Then we also talk about furries and a bunch of other random stuff. Look, it's Friday and I'm tired so imagine a funnier episode description here. In lieu of that, just listen to it because it is actually funny!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Dares (by Snow) 69 Hues of Gay Chick Fil-A 2 Goin' Outback (by BusterManwomb) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

Aaaand we're back to four hosts. Logan misses out in this episode, likely due to spending time with OCAD legend Deven in his moon base on the moon, but at least we got four of the crew on board, right? Yeah, let's go with that rationale.

Only two stories read, and only one completed this week. First we get some super hot truth or dare billionaire action with Batman and his folks in Dares. Then we start on another bustered manethwomb epi(demi)c: 69 Hues of Chick Fil A something something something Gay the squeakwel. Gonna go grab a couple of them bloomin onion cockrings now while the oil is still scalding.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Kinkformers 2019 (by Kiyuo_Honoo) Pizza Time for Pizza Parker (by cementisboost) Spider-Man, The Orthodontist (by 1LuvDragonQueen) Disturbed (by DarkSlayer84)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

YAY WE GOT ALL FIVE TOGETHER! The stars aligned, the tectonic plates shifted, heaven and hell roasted and froze respectively, and the baby stayed asleep the whole time! MACKEREL. Enjoy it while it lasts, if it lasts, cause it probably doesn't but its really nice to get the band back together to play on top of this windy rooftop surrounded by sharks and barbed wire.

In this episode we read a few Transformers Kinktober pieces, a few stories about Spider Man, and then jack into the Matrix. It was a thing! Tip your drivers.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Jar Jar's Bizarre Adventure (by cowboychris) takes one to know one (by bbvqueen) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

Hey look at that! Actually on a roll with releasing these (don't look too much into it, I know the moment I say we're on a roll some calamity or five will befall us and you won't hear from us again until 2062. Okay, maybe not that far but just let me enjoy this small victory). Another episode with everyone minus Val, but don't worry she comes back real real soon. Apologies as this episode was recorded in October so the commentary is a littttttttle bit dated. The stories, however, are timeless.

First we read about Jar Jar Bink's non-canon daddy in the extremely trippy Jar Jar's Bizarre Adventure. Then we read about Metal Gear, which David apparently has never played so don't ask him about it cause he doesn't know anything, and we end up trying to list all the different snakes in between various groans.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Kylo Ren Kills His Dad And Gets Grounded (by daddychat) Rambo The Alamo (by benjaminblakely807) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

Wooo! David joins us for his first appearance in Season 11, only to immediately question as to whether or not Season 11 is us just gaslighting our listeners. Don't listen to him, folks. Daddy Stevo would never steer you wrong ;)

This episode has two stories, frontloaded by a lot of offtopic chatter because of course it does. We dig deep into the Star Wars lore with Kylo Ren Kills His Dad And Gets Grounded, so beware some spoilers exist here. After that, a short dessert fiction course of Rambo. History is wild and wonderful, on full display in this probably true story.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: Gurren Jesus (by Jasonbobdude) Enjoy Your Strap-On, Sir (by jen0va99) The Finer Points of Carrots (by Decadent Meerkat) 

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Shawn

Only a week between recording this and the first episode, yet somehow took two months to edit. Damn, our crew really needs to unionize to justify such selfish and entitled behavior! Also, I'm starting to notice a trend with Season 11 thus far: there's a lot of talk about nuclear stuff. No real reason, just...nuclear stuff. Stevo, Shawn and Logan read a few stories: one about Gurren Lagan (featuring Jesus), one about some lawyers that star in a Capcom game, and one about a Disney property that was inexplicably popular for some reason or another. Also features a small cameo from then two-month-old Xavier! Already making his daddy proud, that boy was. 

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: 69 Hues of Family Friendly Willow 2 & Happy Potter's Moist Flesh Book (by BusterManwomb) The Real world part 1 ( Used to be Human in the lion king world) (by Sindragon) 

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Shawn

Well we certainly totally didn't stop doing Season 10 before we planned to and then ended up hiding in a cave for six months, now did we?

Yes, friends, well and ill wishers, FNF is back. Kinda. Sorta. It's complicated. We're still working out any possible schedules but at the very least some material is ready! Even though this episode was recorded in the middle of friggin' August.

No guests for now and the near-ish future, and also not every host but three out of five ain't too bad. Stevo, Logan and Shawn read a story written in honor of the baby graduating from not-born to now-born, thanks to Buster Manwomb. We follow that up with reading about WWE and Lion King but not really WWE because it's self insert or whatever. Enjoy, and hope the laughs were worth waiting for! Fingers crossed we have the next one out before the next cursed event of this awful year.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Fanfics read: 69 Hues of Deez Nuts 10 Yoshi's Booty World (by BusterManwomb) 69 Hues of Gay Chick Fil-A Revelations (by BusterManwomb) 

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Another week, another set of audio issues that needed to be microprocessed in post! Seems to be a running theme, right? We're the best at being the worst. Expect nothing less. Except maybe corn flake chicken. In this episode, we talk about said culinary delicacy, and read two "stories" by our unholiest of holies, Buster Manwomb. Keep staying safe during this time of identical covid19-style hopeful commercials!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Steve Rudzinski,  Aleen Isley, Tom White 

This episode nearly killed me. With laughter, as well as with tears. Steve Rudzinski, Aleen Isley, and Tom White join us as we explore what it would be like if Kanye were in Thedas but could only speak in his own lyrics, and also what Garfield would be like if it was like the new Joker movie. Welcome to Lasagna Hell.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Sara, Angelbaine

Oh what a clusterfuck this episode was. First we read a Goofy fanfic, and summoned our worst Dracula impressions while we got hyuked real hard. Then Sara and Angelbaine join us as we tried to read a story about the bible if it were for furries. We aborted reading that one. Then we tried to read about Bibleman. We aborted reading that one too (seriously, why is any fic involving the bible so awful?). Finally we settled on slaying Logan on the inside by reading about feet and Resident Evil. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Riley, Matt

Hot off from finishing the Tamanegi Saga, we get topical by reading about Coronavirus! Yup, and its also Star Wars. The sequel trilogy. Yup. It happened, can't wipe it from history now. We were then joined by Riley and Matt to read about some sexy Animal Crossing since that's also relevant and will get us some extra mouse clicks. Then we just say fuck it and read about Don't Starve, and prove that Logan is in fact a robot. 

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Cyril, Katy

Somehow we finally finished our re-do of the Tamanegi Saga! Thanks to Cyril and Katy for their assistance, we got through the onion-drenched wastes and punched metal-dick Shrek in the fucking face. Go us. After we finished that, we did a run of AI Dungeon where we fucked then killed then burned it all to the ground. It was a delightful romp.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, Val, Shawn, D-LUCKS, Rhythm Bastard

The Canadians are in the host majority again! David and Logan had to miss the episode but thankfully D-LUCKS and Rhythm Bastard showed up to help maintain the ever-important international balance (or something like that). We read about Plants vs Zombies and then Kingdom Hearts while ordering the saddest of pizzas. Please pity us.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

The hits just keep on a-comin', just like Videl and the Z fighters as we push past the halfway point of The Tamanegi Saga. No idea how we ended up talking about North Carolina, Terminator 2, Drowning Pool, and who knows what else but hey, that's just the way this show seems to go. Why fight against our nature? Grab your flacid skinflaps and hold on for dear life.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn, Mike, Karleigh

And this the prophecy has come to pass that there were TWO FNF episodes posted in just as many days! Mike and Karleigh join us to get knee (or possibly elbow) deep into the love and lore of The Tamanegi Saga. Everyone, you are hereby commanded to raise your arms up and lend us your spirit as Guile's theme plays! DO YOU EAT ASS?!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn, Cassie, Wolfboy

Yay, early posting! Hopefully this is the first of two episode postings this week as long as reality doesn't decide to continue taking massive dumps all over our totally-large-and-not-at-all-just-a-single-person editing team!

Cassie and Wolfboy join us as we finish an Aliens vs. Predator fanfic (well, ends is a bit misleading, it kinda just stops after realizing its emulating an awful 10 hour family car trip with cranky and entitled children who have been spoiled rotten). They also join us for a restart of one of our most infamous fics: The Tamanegi Saga! Strap in for some amazing awful Dragonball Z sexytimes!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Mirri, Epidehl

Stevo finally gets a little bit of revenge on the crew for how many times they've mentioned his cystoscopy. Mirri and Epidehl join as guests on this episode featuring a really awkward Watchmen fanfic about kidney stones, and that's followed up by us starting a story about the Predator. You know, like from the movies? But apparently its based on the bad movies and has multiple personal OCs in there? It's almost as fun as seeing Logan try to eat a 2 foot long burrito!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Disdonn, Nyami

In which episode that wherefore we do positively discuss the regional locale heritage of history for various and numerous differing last names. Also we read some Castlevania fanfic, which was super fun until we realized just how slowly we were going. The fic is great, but apparently not as good as Alucard's luscious tits. Disdonn and Nyami joined in on the discussion of names and tits, too.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Mana, FiZ

Yeaaaah we finally made it to the part where there are guests in the episodes again! And boy, do we take 'em for a ride this time. Veterans Mana and FiZ join for a plethora of variety as we tackle 5 fanfics and make it through 4 5/8 of them. First we get more BusterManwomb, which we tried to read earlier closer to XMas but we got distracted. Then, we read about Yoda's drinking habits. Then we read a Sonic Lemon extravaganza! Then we read about Diablo and Goat Simulator. And then erotic Three Stooges happens. It is a hugely wild ride, akin to being in a Twister with none other than Bill Paxton.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

To be honest do people even read these descriptions anymore? I mean, like, beyond just seeing what stories we read or tried to read. Because it's extremely difficult to write a short summary describing what goes on during each episode. Heck, even if I could remember the dozens of different comedy things that happened, how could I do it justice by trying to condense it in such a short space? You know what? I'm pretty sure Bill Paxton could have done it. He could have done anything. Oh right, we did read Regular Show, Naruto, Legend of Zelda, and Walking Dead. There, I did my job this week!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn

We couldn't go two straight weeks with all the hosts being on. What a roll we were on too, right? This week has four stories. We got Pepsiman, we got the Brady Bunch, we got Club Penguin, and we got Metroid, all delivered with competence and grace without any commentary or creative modifications....(I don't think we could do that even if we tried)

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Season 10 is here and I couldn't be happier! That's because I've come to realize every single time we go on break and think I'll get some free time it absolutely never fucking happens! WOO! BRING ME BACK TO WORK THEN, WORLD!

We start the season with, of course, a BusterManwomb story. We tried to read a second but shit got sidetracked way badly so we ended up just asking silly questions to each other. Glad to be back then, I guess!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download  (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

And we finished the Season YAAAAAAAAAY!Season 9 draws to a close with the epic trilogy of Pizzapoon. The core hosts read their firsts (and probably their lasts) Uncle Grandpa fanfics. We had some more time at the end so we read about a normal human-sized woman getting a giant gorilla off. You know these summaries don't do a single bit of justice to the show so just listen, ya know?Season 10's sign up sheet will be open until December 4th, 2019. The sheet is up on our website under the "Be a Guest" tab. The Season will start on December 11th, then go away for two weeks because of prior obligations and then Christmas. After that, Season 10 Episode 2 comes back on the first day of 2020. We look forward to growing into double digits with you all!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Riley, Moguta

Gotta keep this description short. We read about One Piece. We read about Dr. Who. We did the Yeti scream. Riley and Moguta joined us. Wow.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Mana, Gorejuice

Troy didn't end up getting on fire in NBA Jam because he wasn't on the show for three weeks in a row! Sorry, Troy. You'll just have to keep fighting for it. This week, Val is gone the whole time, and David is gone after, like, ten minutes. But Stevo Shawn and Logan are joined by Mana and Gorejuice to read one story about a turkey and then three stories about Voltron. There's a lot of ass eating going on. I mean, a LOT of ass eating. It's kind of ridiculous. Tasty treats for Halloween, everyone!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn, Troy, Mike (Kinesis)

Dangit, Troy! How dare you come on two episodes back to back! That's taking full advantage of the fact that you're recruiting so many more terrible people for this terrible show, and even offering to host them or use your equipment to make it happen! Stop being such a good person!

Yes, Troy comes back again and this time brings his friend Mike (Kinesis) for our first ever choose your own adventure-style reading! Botnik's seminal Welcome to Sand Hands is read by the crew and guests the whole time. How many times will they die? Will mom EVER stop reading our books? Was it a smart idea to bite the magician?! Tune in to find out!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Troy, Ms. Pouty

Stevo and David finally got together again in person after five years of not seeing each other! We got proof of it, too! Maybe someday we'll be unlazy enough to put together the travelogue we kinda sorta maybe filmed for like six minutes of total material, but hey, it still counts as evidence! But y'all don't care about that. Y'all are here for the awful and the dirty, right? Yeah, you are.Troy and Ms. Pouty return again (I can't believe we haven't scared them off yet). First, the core dudes read about Overwatch (this was before the Blitzchung thing, trust me, we probably wouldn't have read it after that bullshit happened). Then, we talked about the semen capacity of primates. THEN we read the next story, and ruined Keijo with some buttsexy stuff. Finally, we completely decimate Phoenix Wright with a cheesy (literally, it's about smegma) maybe sexy story. Clean your foreskin, bros. Also don't keep your smega in cravats. That's terrible.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Hippie, Wolfboy

The curse continues! Unbelievably we could only get Stevo, Logan and Val for the first recording with our guests Hippie and Wolfboy. David did a small makeup a few days later but Shawn was nowhere to be heard. Well, whatever. The show goes on, as it does. We read about Teen Wolf (don't see why everyone loves it so damn much), Resident Evil (incomplete but we could see where it went and wish it went farther, Tyrant in nurse outfit supah sexy), and then Overwatch as a magic stripper or something. Note to self: never get into word origination arguments with any hosts. Ever.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Beth, Sam

Well, we've got a new curse. A curse that hosts just can't be free on Wednesday nights anymore. We had to cancel the live reading on this one but spent at least some-ish hours over the weekend that followed doing makeup recordings. So I cobbled together this episode from a session with Val, Stevo, Beth and Sam, and then another session with the core five. We read two bustermanwomb things, a titanic thing, and a sonic thing that Logan wouldn't shut up about because he wants to name Stevo's kid after it for some reason. It's quite a trip to follow, and I can say that because I've been editing it for about 30 hours now!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Matt, Sara

What a weird way to spend a Wednesday, huh? We only finished two stories, one of which we had less than two pages left to go on, but what we failed to accomplish by reading a lot we made up for with laughing a lot! Also, can you turn your mic gain up a little bit and stop leaning back so far, David? Please? We hope you enjoy the totally serious not at all lampooned Forza Horizon 3 review. The wonderful Matt and amazing Sara joined us this time around.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn, Disdonn, Cassie

So I'm just gonna come out and say it: I'm drunk and I haven't slept much in the past few days. So we read a bunch of stuff, and also had a lot of fun. Cassie and Disdonn were guests. Insert whatever words you want for the next paragraph. Enjoy!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Mirri, Epidehl

We read a LOT of stories in this one! And Logan and Val weren't there either, so we had to actually try hard to carry the load this go around. Mirri and Epidehl joined us later but there's so many stories I'd have to write at least TWO paragraphs in order to list them all out. And I'm a very, very lazy person. So...just dive right in, and get some holy hammers in your didly!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Angelbaine, Richard Pryor

WOO! Happy birthday, Stevo (me)! What a wonderful belated present to spend reading awful smut! Thanks, Th3Baron!

We open the episode with the eternal quandary of why your waifu is shit with...Your Waifu is Trash!!! Then we bring in Angelbaine and Richard Pryor to read a wonderfully written story just pour moi by Th3Baron as a sequel to Daddydorf. So many Goron dicks to fuck, so little time.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

An unintentionally guest-less episode where we peruse the various holes of things. First, we get up close and way personal with Spiderman and Godzilla. Then, we try and eventually give up on some Yaoi based on the anime Yakitate Japan. Lastly we creepily masturbate as Plague Knight in a strange bout of exhibitionism. Overall, an adequate Wednesday night.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, D-LUCKS

Well, shit. A new threshold has been breached. We finally read some fanfic about real life Hockey players. And it's super weird. But apparently there's some good dick sucking involved. D-Lucks joins us after we part ways with the fic after that, involving Keijo girls becoming Futanari. We move on to the Spanish Fly follow up for CSI from a few seasons ago, and then with some vanilla LOTR stuff. Overall, it was a messy time. Delicious.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Zak, Pope, Wolley

Oh boy, Sonic fanfiction! Never read that before. This pseudo-sequel to SONIC HIGH SCHOOL gets our episode going, and when Zak, Pope and Wolley show up, we massively shift gears. An ensemble cast joins the Flintstones and the Love Live girls in The Flintstones Have a Snow Halation. Then we didn't have anything else really good ready so we read about X-Men and Transformers. It was a weird, weird night. I still have a yelling problem.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Afrohawk, Waffle

DAMN YOU, BUSTER MANWOMB! YOU DID THIS TO ME!

*sigh* why did I even open my big mouth. A few episodes ago, we read about Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz and editorialized Columbo into it. Well, now Mister Manwomb wrote a story involving Columbo just for us, so we gotta read it. The crossovers abound in this double-trouble episode of masculine baby organs fanfics. After Columbo and Roger Rabbit we dive into Indiana Jones and some absolutely pants-shitting horrifying imagery. Waffle and Afrohawk tried to help us get through it. It was a marginal help.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Ooooo, experimentation time! Yesssssss.... In this episode of FNF, the core crew goes at it a different way. We have five stories where each host is assigned a role (well, most of the time, anyway) and we treat it like a low-budget audio drama. Actually, that's more like a no-budget audio drama. There's no sound effects, there's no attempt at giving believable performances, but we each have roles, so we're halfway there! The last story in the listing is read in our regular style because we did too much too quickly and Stevo didn't have enough time to modify another fic. Be on the look out for All Might being in literally every anime ever, now.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn

Oh, fun! No time for elaborations this week, we have sexy things to bring you! Due to a technical issue, David did not exist this week (blame his neighbor doing yardwork at 7:30 at night). So I had to scramble to get these stories ready. First is a Voltron hatefuck fic called Home, featuring two good boys. After that, its an AU Star Wars fic involving mermen and masturbation. Last, we've got a political heatwave with Jeb and Ted in Every Man Should Start the Day on His Knees. Warm titfucks to you all.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Sorry to say but yes, we've returned. Again. Good to see you all. Hope you had the best fucking pride month ever. The core hosts get immediately into it (after about 20 minutes of tangents and non-starts) with Sugar Smack Dat Ass. Sexy breakfast orgy? Hell yes! After that, the crew plunges back to the 90's with Bill and Ted's Excellent Orgasm! It's totally righteous, dudes. Lastly, we visit our favorite large green man (outside of Jabba the Hut, The Jolly Green Giant, and the Big Green Monster at Fenway Park) with Get in Me Swamp. Make sure to hydrate as well as take adequate bathroom breaks before you hit swamp-territory. Crocks are still stupid, as well.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

The core four (and by four, I mean five) close out the end of Season 8 by reading more stuff. It's pretty good. First up, we get the firsthand account of QWOP in An Olympic Dream. Then, we get more manwombness with 69 Hues of Disney 4 Tommy Wiseau Eats Out the Hindenburg. It is very accurate Hollywood blockbuster experience! With the end of Season 8, we're taking our usual small break! The sign up sheet for Season 9 will be up on our site and available until June 15th, so be sure to sign up by then. We will return the first week in July, and hopefully by then we'll not only be recovered but also have new things added to our Patreon, along with lots of other awesome new stuff! We're glad everyone survived Season 8...mostly intact.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Simjan, Gorejuice

Simjan and Gorejuice join us to finish reading about Harry Potter FSM and then a girl that pretends to be god in order to fuck a guy and get his lady to leave. First up, we finish Touched By His Noodley Appendage. It's just as weird of an ending as it was to begin with. Then, Simjan actually wrote the story we read! Barbie Q, the Grill Who Fell in Love with Christian Grey is all about grill fucking. Yup. It's pretty good.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, Val, Logan, Shawn, Mirri, Epidehl

Mirri and Epidehl join us again for a nice variety selection of stories in this episode. We revisit the wonderful world of Pokémon fucking with Pikapoon. Then we get all buttery with Paula Deen's Salty Secret. Following that, we get very livejournal with a fanwritten addition to The very secret diaries featuring Haldir and a few others. Lasty, we start the starchy magical journey of Touched By His Noodley Appendage. David definitely missed some fun but we'll make sure he gets caught up next week in the stickiest way possible.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Nyami, Sara

Nyami and Sara join us for our first foray into the legendary story known as Sonic's Ultimate Harem. First, no, we are not reading the entire thing. It is far larger than we could ever hope to conquer. Now that I got that out of the way, yes, we read one chapter of it (well, at least parts of it) and we may do it again in the future! But, as you'll hear, it's definitely...how do I put it. It's definitely up our alley, so we can only handle so much of it. Maybe next time we should pick a chapter where we know the female character that is involved. Maybe also we shouldn't dole out bad sex advice.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Mark the day of this glorious event in the stone wheel of time that records humanity's accomplishments. We read our first story by BusterManwomb, who wrote a sequel to 69 Hues of Disney. The original story was already a ridiculous journey through a deranged psyche, but somehow the sequel ratchets up the insanity past numbers conceivable to the human race. Simba fucks his way out of the grid in order to get some fucking tacquitos. The main plotline is somehow the most coherent thing in the story. Then we read the sequel to the sequel. I'd say more but this story is best not spoiled. Gird your loins for the cockbludgeoning of a lifetime.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

Oh, fucking wonderful. We finally get to read one of those infamous farting stories. This is going to go absolutely swimmingly. We kick of the evening with Kingdom Farts. It honestly does end up being funnier than it sounds, but that's only if you enjoy fart sounds in-general. After that, we read our first story from Soul Eater. It's okay, I guess, but mostly it just prompts a lot of questions about weapons having sex. Stevo also complains a lot about being constipated and the crew says ketchup and catsup a lot. Outstanding!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Cassie, Rhythm Bastard

It feels like the dawning of a new age today! Birds are chirping in the trees. Foxes are darting in and out of traffic making strange noises. And of course we're doing what we always do: reading fanfiction. In this episode, we start off with another My Hero Academia fanfiction, called Tsuyu and Bakugo in Rapunzel. After last week's Hot-Pocket Fuck Experiment, honestly didn't mind calming it down a bit with some 4th wall breaking humor. A gallant attempt at shifting default user-ships for Heroackkckkkha. After that, we read some sections from Flash Fiction Fuckin's. Each chapter was a different pairing apparently, and we enjoyed picking what the next person had to suffer through. Then Cassie and Rhythm Bastard joined us to reread a classic involving the School of Hogwarts and a giant squid. Then some more flash fiction thingies. Overall, 100million points out of 10 because it wasn't Brewdening Love (I promise I will only harp on that for a few more weeks).

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Disdonn

WE FINALLY FINISHED BREWDENING LOVE! Holy shit, that felt way longer and worse than I remembered it. Disdonn helped us finally knock this thing to the mat for the fullcount. This will also hopefully be the last episode that's cobbled together from multiple recordings. To celebrate the fact that we finished, we read a fucking lovely My Hero Academia fanfic called maybe you shouldnt put your dick in there. I won't spoil anything about it but it was great, and made all the sweeter because Dave ducked out early so he didn't get to witness it. It's okay, I'll make him listen to it this week. So happy to be moving on from this shit!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Tea, DLucks

I feel like these writeups get so much harder to do when we're reading a long story. Like, I could wax philosophical about many things when we're not mired in an extended read but now? All I want to do is just bang my head on the desk. Tea and DLucks join us as we take a tiny, super small reprieve from Brewdening Love and get some other flavors in the mix. First we read Legolas. We regretted it. Then, we read about Fortnite in A Valentines Gone Too Far Fornite NSFW Fanfiction. Those who cared regretted it, though most of us didn't know any of the characters. You know, because its Fortnite. Then we read about Bionicle, and Logan and Tea cared and very much regretted it. Then it was more Brewdening Love. *sigh*

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Kutsu Shita

Boy, what fun being a vampire is! Our characters in Brewdening Love sure are relate-able, believable, and not at all grating on our nerves at this point! NOPE! Thanks Kutsu for putting up with us as we try to get more chapters done on this. Sorry, I promise (probably) the writeups after this one will be better written.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Wolfboy, Scout

Another week, another instance of Love of the Brewdening variety! Wolfy and Scout-y grace us with their ha-ha's as we cobble together both a makeup recording with the regular episode last week. There's a LOT of content, and it's...well, if you've listened to any of this so far you know exactly what to expect.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Enigmatic, JoeldaAlcoholic

In this week's installment, we get knee deep back into Brewdening Love with our guests Enigmatic and Joel. We discuss Hot Bird Water, which is a thing. Really I just don't have much to type about this because it's Brewdening Love and I won't spoil any of it for y'all, you'll just have to listen!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Symphoenix, Ms. Pouty

Finally! We get to one of Shawn and Stevo's favorite properties ever! We get to read a Senran Kagura story (much to Logan's dismay). There's one problem: it's a crossover with Kingdom Hearts. Well, there's way more problems than that, but that's just one of the bigger problems. The crew starts off with some side chapter in a story called The Legend of Keyblade Master called The Exciting Physical Examination. Next, David reads a short story about Ward from Twitlight called Edward's brithday. It definitely was a...uh, thing. Lastly, Symphoenix and Ms. Pouty return to help us tackle our...LONGFIC?! Yes, five episodes in, we begin at least attempting to take on Brewdening Love for the first time on FNF! No spoilers from us about it in this description, but it is a classic on a level almost reaching My Immortal. Sinnars fuk of!!!11

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, LackofSense, Afrohawk

Hey, everyone! Stevo here, posting from out of state! Currently at VGMCon, so I will have to make this writeup brief. LackofSense and Afrohawk joined us for our first experiment in the new ordering for the show, and it worked out really well. We got through FIVE stories. Ted Cruz may or may not be in one of them. You'll just have to listen to find out!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn

So, full disclosure: I have never attempted to watch more than 20 seconds of a PewDiePie video ever. I don't care enough to. And I don't know who this Cry-character is that's also apparently a YouTuber. But we tried to read an MPREG fanfiction about them! Snow, which was apparently run through some kind of translator, goes full-daytime-soap on us before we switched over to the hottest Kairi X Kairi(?) fanfic we've read on a Wednesday night in February of 2019! That's not saying much though. I honestly can't tell if Desire fizzled or sizzled because I'm currently filled with 19 different variants of Xehanort and at least two Soras.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn

NYEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It's time for some hot Devito action! The fretful Nighthorse five tackle the hairy, balding, sweaty, short stature that should honestly have been the canon Lara Croft. Danny Devito stars in Devito Raider (by Brododile). Come along as we raid some ancient civilizations and complain about our parents!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn  

We return once again to the land of the living. Oh shit, this story was written by Stevo. Fuck it, let's go back to the land of the dead.

Kicking Season 8 off with a bang as well as some sexy whimpers, the crew returns to read a story of two star-crossed lovers finding perfection in one another. It's just a damn shame those two lovers are Gritty and Toomgis. Yeah, Stevo wrote this to get Logan to shut up about the two mascots and the rest of the crew has to suffer through it. Behold the eldritch horror of Tasty Seduction.

After that, as if we hadn't had enough, we reread a ComicsNix classic with Training in the Village for a Massive Man. Naruto and the Hulk get into some ass-tentacle weirdness. That's about it I think. Well, here we go again. Cheers to another Season of the awful!

Thanks as always to our Patrons and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

As we reach the end of Season 7, we’d like to take this time to say…wow. This Season sure was a thing. 2018 sure was a year! I’m in no way trying to pad out the description for this episode at all, I swear! The core hosts read a slew of five stories which have nothing to do with one another and do what they normally do. Happy 2019!

Season 8 starts in later January 2019. Sign ups for Season 8 close on January 16th, so sign up ASAP if you haven’t yet! We have a slight format change for Season 8 but you should listen to this episode to find out more. Take care, and hope y’all had as much fun as we did. We’ll see you in a few weeks!

*STEVO RUNS OFF INTO THE SUNSET, CELEBRATING A FEW WEEKS WITHOUT HAVING TO EDIT THINGS*

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Lack of Sense, D-LUCKS

As we trudge onward from that wreck of a Harry Potter fanfic, we try to recuperate with some nice, family sitcom entertainment. Except this is totally not the usual universe for Everybody Loves Raymond. Matt and Dylan join us for Raymond Loves Dick (which, coincidentally, is not a love letter to our favorite Richards). Then, we follow that up with a return to the lands of Tamriel with One Night in Oblivion. Timeline-smashing logic? Sure, all in the pursuit of some sweet Emperor poon!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Logan, Shawn, Mirri, Epidehl

Well, this was unfortunate. We were all revved up to go and make lots more progress on Harry Potter Becomes an Armchair Communist. Well, I mean, we did do that. It’s FNF of course so we didn’t get too far, but then at the end we kinda had to ditch the story. Regardless, Mirri and Epidehl join us for the last episode of us reading Harry Potter Becomes Pol Pot! We move on to different stuff the week after, so enjoy the Trostskyites while you can!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val

Due to unforeseen technology issues, we had to redo the original episode for this. This ended up being just fine because we totally didn’t have anything better to do with our Sunday night than talk about Hot Topic-style communism and whether or not Tonks counts as a big-tittied gothic girlfriend. Harry Pol-Potter soldiers on, I suppose!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Scout, Sara

We skate into the food court on our Heelys to buy some sweet Che Guevara T-Shirts as we dive deep into the red oceans of communism again. Scout and Sara join the crew for our second encounter with Harry Potter Becomes a Communist. Make sure to take Mom’s credit card and share it with everyone, because that’s how communism works!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist (by HardcoreCommie)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Troy, Ms. Pouty

Sorry for being a few days late but we had a gremlin throw a wrench into the episode we had planned for this week. Instead, we’re jumping forward in time to when ushankas reign supreme and the only utensils you get with your meager bread meals are a hammer and a sickle. We have Troy and Ms. Pouty join us to start up our longfic called Harry Potter Becomes A Communist. Brace yourselves, this is gonna be rougher than a Winter on the Steppes.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Moguta, Waffle

This week, Moguta and Waffle join us for an hour and a half of distracted conversation and the worst grammar, punctuation and spelling ever. Yes, that’s all I have to say. It’s really really really awful. And we have to read just as much of it next week from the same story.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Sam, Kyle

This week, Sam and Kyle join in on the funnest family adventure romp this side of Gerudo Valley! Ganondorf goes Disney-style in Daddydorf and Kid Link go Fishing: Dadliest Catch. This story is so wonderful, except when it turns all…icky. Following that, we read the epic crossover absolutely nobody wanted: MLPFiM VS One Piece. Ya-yo-ya-yo, get ya gum-gum ready!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Gorejuice, Sollux

Ah, yes. That feels better. Much Better.

Sorry for missing the post last week. There’s currently quite the backlog here at FNF HQ (along with some weird garlic-y smells and probably a septic system leak). To make up for it, you get…NOTHING EXTRA!

In this episode, Sollux and Gorejuice join the crew as we select a story based entirely on its title: cumeating.txt. Full title of Cum Eating Husband, we discuss the deep implications of cuckolding and quality child care when participating in such. After that, we read something topical (at least based on the time of the recording) called George is Pregnant. Our first story about The Beatles, I’m sure it won’t be our last, and hopefully is the worst but I actually doubt that. Nobody on the show can do a British accent. Like, at all.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! [chat disabled for 5 seconds]

The boys and gal of Nighthorse are back after a very unrestful and unrelaxing non-break, due in no small part to finally getting the definitive version of our My Immortal reading completed! In fact, this is being posted on Stevo and Val’s honeymoon! (Yes, it’s over five years late, we know)

We return to form with a new opening and immerse right back into the fun with three stories. First, we read a very classic story from Egyptian folklore called The Adventures of Kurt Manlove. After cleaning up the tentacle goo, we move right along into Every Time That You Get Undressed (I Hear Symphonies In My Head). Space puberty is indeed a rough time for every human…in space. Lastly, we get some hot dude on CRT action with Nintendo Land After Hours. Don’t stick your dick into a powered on CRT, folks. It’s NOT a good idea.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Sara, Troy, Mirri, Epidehl, Popesloth, Scout

THE END!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Sara, Troy, D-LUCKS, SimJan, Lack of Sense, Wolley

It’s just never gonna end, is it? It’s so goffik. So drprzed. So Hot Topik.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Scout, Mirri, Epidehl, Kutsu Shita, Popesloth, Wolley

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. We pick up the second half of My Immortal and split it into three parts, for a total of six episodes of Tara’s epic goffik saga. This marathon was recorded over a total of five hours on Friday, August 17th, 2018, a few days before Stevo’s birthday. What a present for him. Wow.

In this section, we start a bit fresher, before quickly descending back into the purgatory of spelling errors, emo references, and wrist slitting. There’s a lot of people who ended up taking part, so just roll with it and forgive anyone for breaking down and begging to be released from this literary prison.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Ms Pouty, Troy, Kutsu Shita, D-LUCKS

I̴̛͙͋̑̑̿̍̔̒̃̆̄ ̴̛̻̣͎̺̰̼̜̗̘͔̿̃̎̃̈͂͂̐̂̓̆͋̕͘͝͝͠L̴̲̦̻̺͇̹͆́̈́̔͗̈́͛́̽͘͜͠o̵̡̻͚̱͎̱̘̻̦̺̮̱͍͕̳͙͋̿̓̔̽̓̄̽̇̀̆͊̀̿̕͘͝v̸̡̢̡̛̻̜̾̈́͋̈́̔͊̾͒̈́̐̈́͋̂͋ḛ̷̮̯̦͔̹͇͆ ̸͉͇͓̪̗̝́̇Ě̷͉͔̗͇̦̫͉̓̅̒̑̊͋̅̾̚͜͝b̷͉̓̏̑̈́̋̈́̎̏́́̒̇̽̇͌̑o̶̧͓̪̣̰̙̥̭̳̦̻̖̔́͗̓͐̓̚̚͜n̴̡̧̛͙̜͈͍͚̝̤̻̲͔̺͓̖͊̏̈͋̚͘͜͠y̸̢̧̛̼͉̻͍̫̬͓̱̫̦̟͉̺̠̔̆͒͒̊̉͌͘͘͜ ̴͉̠̱̩̞̞̬̇͋̅͛͌̎͌̇ͅD̵̡̛̩̞̟̖̱̱̣̈̒͒̏̚̚ͅà̴̞̟̟̤̝̑̈́ŕ̴̨̧͈̮̦̭̘͙̣͓̱̙͎͇̠͍̆͗͛̈̂̿̂̾̓͜͝k̵̢̢̭̝̥̠͕̻͇͇̈́̆̍̃̔̔͒̅͛͐̀̔̅̂͊͆́͝ͅ’̸̝̤͊͂̀́͛̿̓͊͑̓̋͂̀͘̕͝͝͠n̶̠̰̼̺̝̹̻̗̪͓̬̒ę̵͕̤̬͈̯͎̥̱͇̋́s̸̨̱̲͛͗ş̷̧̠̣̻̳͍̈́͜͝ ̴̝͙̹͇̭͋͐̌̒̓͘͝D̷̢̧̛̼̫͔̩̲̟͓̠͕̺̩̲͂͋̔̈́͛͋̑͆̀̀̇̈́̓̇̄̔͝i̴̛̞͓̫̩̻͛̉̋̀͊̌̿̋͝͝ṃ̵̢̧̗̯̪̳̯̘̜͈̰̝̜̯̍̇̏͋͒̾̓́̄̒ë̷̢̛̗͕̼̣̘̩͕͇̫͈̯͉́̋͑͒͗̀̀͠ñ̵̨̨̛̤̹̺͈̫̊͆͛́͋͊̾̃̾͋́̚͜ͅs̸̢͔̦̙̜̝͙͚̯̞͚̮̋̃̓̓̅̅́͌̿͑̄̄͘͝͝į̸̡̨̛̛̘͕͚̪̼̭͈͖̘̭̬̄͂͆̑͗̒͊̾̌͛̍̏̏̇̊̚a̷͔͌̋̑̑͌̅̈́̀ ̸̧̡̧̢̱͖̝̹͇̦̬͎̺͇͊͐̿̀̓̐͊́̄͘R̴̯̗͎̱̜͚̠̽̉̑͗̄̃̕̚͜͜å̴̫̙̆͐̄͂̂v̴̡̳̹̯̮̥̪͈̬̞͇̼̥͙̬́̊̈̾̀̃̆̔̾͒͘̚͜͜͠ͅe̷̢͈̘̘͙̮̳̍͜n̴͕͓̬̼͊̅̎̐ ̴̥̘͕̈́̊̊͌͂̋͑͝W̷͇̫͎̘̝͍̬̬͙͉̤̥̩̺̯̩͕̐͊̑̍̌̎̀̿̾̇̉͜a̸̧̮͔̲̳̼͇͉̰̅̈̈́͊̊͘͝y̷̡̨̖̝͖̞͓̯͍̞̥̯̭͉͊̇̾͜ͅ ̴̖̭̆̌̈́a̴̲̝̦̥̱̻̯̭̪͙͖̖̋͝n̶̳̹̳̼͚̜͔̾̉̾̒̊̓̋̕̚͝d̷̛̪̲̍̈́̈́̉̍́̃͑̃̾̿̌̋͗̚͝ ̷̭̜͓̳̮̫̀̈͆̈̅̾͂̀̃͐͂̈́̾̆̎̓̊Ģ̸̨̛͕̭̜̙̩̹̞̟͈͈͖̤͉́̒̂̀̽͐̊̑̓́̽͝͝͝e̶̡̫̰͓̤̹̼̘̳̮̹̤̭̊̉̅̊̆̔̀̓̂́̏͑̚ṛ̵̻̙̞͕̞̯̹͖͉̣͕̫̭̱̹͌̌̏̈́͒͛̀͊̅͆̈́͝͝a̶̧̡̤͕̞̘̤̱̒̾̂͑͋̐̉͗͜ŗ̴̛̤̝͙͈̼̮̞̥̩͚̰̑́̌͊̔̈́̓̀̄͒͛̿͠d̸̢̞̬͍̫̩̝̺̘͔̈́̓̿̒͜ͅ ̸̢̛̬͔̗̈́͂́̍̔͂͌̊̍̍̀̊̇̐̾͘̕W̷̙͉̺̹̟̩̼̗̙̞̬̮͇͑͂̓͒̂̋̈́̍́͑̒̓̇̏̽̓͝͠ã̶̤̪̐͌̔̂̃͑̓y̵̢̼̮͔̹̰͉͖̗͆̈́̈́̆̀̏

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Disdonn, Mirri, Epidehl, Lack of Sense, Gorejuice, Frosty the Nord

We arrive at Part 2. Don’t you fink gay guys are lik so hawt?11 Like little hurricanes running through your loins. The hole goes deeper, and the light fades further.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read: My Immortal (by Tara Gilesbie)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Disdonn, Mirri, Epidehl, Lack of Sense, Gorejuice, Frosty the Nord, Kutsu Shita, Symphoenix, Ms. Pouty

It begins. Again.

And it’s been a long time coming, too. After we attempted to reread it last year, we realized that a) we didn’t have enough time the first go around and b) we’re able to do MUCH better now. So we did. A huge number of people helped us reread one of the most infamous fanfictions every written. This is Part 1 of My Immortal. I have no other words than: enjoy, and beware.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Cyril

Woo! Cyril joins us for what is the last episode of our normal season for Season 6! That…doesn’t mean we get the chance to celebrate, because a) we had to read four stories in one night and b) we have to gird our loins for the My Immortal reread that completes in the next few weeks. First, we get completely fucked in the head by Mrs Frizzle Gets Crunk. Then, we object to the inappropriate use of the bathroom in Blow. After that, we get our gem on with Even Steven. And finally, we get caresses with lots of tentacles in The Gaps Filled in Dreams. Blame Carlos for everything.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Steve Rudzinski, Marc with a C

Well, this got out of hand rather quickly. Steve Rudzinski (http://silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com) and Marc with a C (http://marcwithac.com) hop on to give our show some repudation, but mostly what we get are musical interruptions, pitches of wares, laughs/screams, and discussions about Man-Spider. We read three stories guaranteed (not really) to get your motor running. First, we HENSHIN up with Morning Light, a Kamen Rider Ghost fic nobody really cared about beyond having plates of laundry in it. Then, we get all solid and liquid-y with In My Defense, I Didn’t Know At The Time about the awkwardness of having sex with both Snake brothers. Finally, we travel fairly oddly back into Comicsnix with Roots of Life A Cradle to Love, which hasn’t gotten any better than the last time we read about Timmy Turner sitting on a toothbrush and fucking a houseplant.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn, Sara

I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this real or not? Are we REALLY reading more Kingdom Hearts fanfiction after our last travesty of an outing with that source material? APPARENTLY, WE ARE! Sara joins us AND submits an old fanfic she wrote about the classic crossover series between Disney and Square that has caused astrophysicists to scratch their heads in confusion as to how the storyline works at all. We open with her story called What a Halloween. After we’re done with the game series that requires advanced calculus to understand the game titles, we move on to some lighter fair with some One Punch Man (specifically Genos) action in Don’t Leave Pets in the Cold. A good rule if you have animals, as well as apparently a dig at someone’s subservience when bringing them delicious kobe beef! We hope you’ll join us in setting some dick-shaped cookies out in the Arizona sun for this one.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Wolfboy, Sir Splee

HAPPY EXPLOSIONS, FIREWORKS, BEER AND FREEDOM DAY! To celebrate July 4th (as well as a belated Canada day), Wolfboy and Sir Splee join the regular crew to read a trio of questionably patriotic stories. We start with a crossover between Fallout and Metal Wolf Chaos with Patriotic Fever. We would have instated a rule to drink for the words America, President, and Freedom, but we like the idea of living. Those darn Coup de tas forces! Following that, we read what may be the most American thing ever: Garfield crossing over into the Marvel universe with Garfield of the Galaxy Infinity Wars. After getting super hungry from all the lasagna in that story, we wrap up with a political fanfic featuring Justin Trudeau and some other Canadian politicians we’re unfamiliar with because we’re awful people in Right and Honourable (excessive u’s are SO unamericana by the offspring). Butts were shown, French was decimated, and we all should collectively hang our heads in shame. But don’t because we don’t have any.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Mirri, Scout

Get yourself a sandwich made from sourdough bread cut into a dinosaur shape and gobble it down as Mirri and Scout join us for clean up night! We read the rest of The Very Secret Diaries and THE WEIRDEST FANFICTION ON WATTPAD, just to say we’ve finished two more stories than we could have a week prior. And then, because we fucked around too much and Stevo couldn’t stick everyone in the Boo Box, we read a short story called Horrible Fairly OddParents Fanfic (no author indicated). It was pretty terrible and I don’t think any of us will look at belly buttons the same way again.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read: Fun In The Barn (by Challenge King) Rings, Socks, and Minds (by Decadent Meerkat) Foreign Affairs (by funluvr)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Matt, Mike

Strap in for a wild ride across your childhood and into the politics of 2016! Matt and Mike join the crew in a voyage through three different stories based in, like, four fandoms and then somehow reality. We start with our first Animorphs fanfic with Fun in the Barn, and we discuss what the horse futanari who rule the world would be called. After that, we delve into Rings, Socks and Minds which somehow brings Yoda, Dobby and Gollum together for a frenetic threesome of short character debauchery. Finally, we slide into the moist sausage wallet of Foreign Affairs, which describes in vivid details what sharing an Uber with HRC would end up like.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val

Uh oh. We had a couple issues with our regularly recorded episode last week so we had to have an emergency session on a Sunday to record a makeup episode, and this is the result! We read two and a half stories. First up, we read a couple sections from THE WEIRDEST FANFICTION ON WATTPAD by a bunch of authors who come up with weird HP pairings and its really scary if you’re a twelve-year-old on the internet I swear. After some of that, we get some of the good stuff with Velma and scoobys intimate adventure. It is quite intimate. Very. Not at all super gross. Lastly, we delve into one of the weirdest pairings we’ve ever done with Frosted Tips, which features…well, let’s just say the Zodiac Killer goes to Flavortown.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read: The Keyhole in Bikini Bottom (by FFGirl15)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, D-LUCKS

“Please Enjoy” our first attempt at doing a multi-episode story as D-LUCKS joins us this week. We start reading The Keyhole in Bikini Bottom, a Spongebob Square Pants/Kingdom Hearts fanfic that reveals that only possibly two hosts can do a good Spongebob voice, and also that Stevo’s never seen the show so he knows absolutely nothing about it. Strap in, it’s gonna be a something.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Katie, Troy

Troy and Katie join the crew to get back to (and very quickly give up on) KUNG FU TRON EL TORNEO. Instead, we move swiftly on to the My Immortal ripoff vehicle known as My Skellington. While doing this, Val yells at Stevo about babies. Finally, we read an Overwatch fic about McHanzo and a boobjob called Be Sure To Hit The Mark. Goodbye! *gets in a loud truck on David’s street and drives away*

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val

GUESTLESS NIGHT!!! The core hosts run amok across the cosmos! FUCK YOU, I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME! First, we peruse the lithe weirdness of Spock’s Evergreen Cock in Suckin’ Some D on the USS EnterMe. Then we go back in time with some Happy Days fanfiction. Finally, we travel to foreign lands with a valiant attempt at a translated copy of KUNG FU TRON EL TORNEO. Le Gasp!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read: Forbiden Fruit The Tempation of Edward Cullen (cleaner version, by BeckyMac666 and SimJan) A Midsummer Romance (by T1Weasel) The Purge – A Chef Boyardee Fanfiction (by SesameMeat)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Afrohawk (Kyle)

Kyle joins us for our final iteration of reading about the Atlanta Falcons as a Mary Sue in Forbiden Fruit The Temptation of Edward Cullen. We are SO happy we got to finish that, but then we had to dive right back into some more SonAmy Hedgehog bonking in A Midsummer Romance. I’m so glad they have to keep reminding each other of their names during coitus. And lastly, we drudge up some Chef Boyardee Fanfic with The Purge. Overall, it was a sweaty, sticky, meaty evening.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Gorillaz720 (Jamie)

This week, Gorillaz720 joins us for the first time to give some Aussie cred (even though the country still doesn’t exist, apparently) to our continued reading of Forbidden Fruit by BeckyMac666. We laughed, we cried, got poo-poo in the eye and potentially compromised our ability to be hired to any reasonable employment positions.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, SimJan

SimJan joins us for a duo and a half (we couldn’t finish, and yes we’re used to feeling that way) of stories about very strange women with even stranger sexual tendencies. First, a set of stories about the FanFic Critic by Mylokitty. We begin with exploring the Vagina of Wonders and end up at a magical lesbian wedding in the afterlife. After getting juicy and moist spelunking in those vaginal caverns, we move on to a SimJan-edited version of Forbidden Fruit by BeckyMac666. It’s basically the My Immortal of the Twilight world (somehow apparently worse than Brewdening Love). Don’t smock dope in the lockar room, kids!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Cap, Rhythm Bastard

In this episode, Cap and Rhythm Bastard join us for a bunch of stories all of which will scar a part of your childhood. First up, a story about the Giving Tree! Then, a story about My Little Pony! Then, a story about…House M.D. (just roll with it). And we finish off with a story about Pokémon! I promise there isn’t not any incest in at least one of these…

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Sollux

Voltron is love, Voltron porn is life.

In this episode, Sollux joins the crew for two stories about big, nasty things and one story about Shrek. We delve into the world of Voltron and see exactly how one has sex with a huge anime mech thingy in Beloved of the Black Lion. Then we take a dip back in the swamp of Shrek stories with shrektacular (full title so long so I just am not even going to bother to type it again). So kawaii desune donkiwa. Finally, we drop back into Voltron with In the Mood that Fighting is For and…I just don’t even remember at this point. It was fun, though!

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read: Rick and Morty’s Quest for Love (by Th3Baron)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Beth, Sam

We *urgghh* *burb* read some, uhhh *brrp* some of that there erotic *uhh burp* Ricky and Morty fanfiction, there. *barf*

Okay, I honestly can’t type like that for too long without going absolutely insane and smothering my supple, naked body with “I voted” stickers and taking a bath in snails. Sam and Beth join us for an attempt (valiant, possibly foolish) at reading Rick and Morty’s Quest for Love. Tropey? Yup. Horribly written? You bet. Uncomfortable sexuality involving aliens? Yeah, that’s a definite. Prepare your earholes to get fucked in many ways unfamiliar to humanity.

Thanks as always to our Patrons, friends, and fans!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val

And we’re BAAAAAAAACK! And, of course, basically nothing’s changed. The crew storms through three stories to kick off Season 6, and it’s clear that downhill is a thing that just never ends for us.

First off is a story about Yoda going on a date with Miley Cyrus. Which is not the actual Yoda but just some dude’s friend who’s gamertag is Yoda. We still use the Yoda voice, though, because that makes it all the more awkward as we discuss how much ear hair Yoda’s dick has.

After that, we get kinky in furtown with some Thundercats erotica. David keeps talking about some Mechanical Redneck from He-man or something, but it’s still pretty hot/gross.

Finally, we read a very short story about the anime Free!, which is about swimming and other assorted wetnesses.

Thanks as always to our Patrons and we hope you all like the new intro!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Fanfics read:

We’ll be making a separate announcement on the podcast feed about this as well, but you can find us at our new website being hosted at http://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/ We’ve started recruiting for Season 6, and recruitment for this Season ends on March 21st. Season 6 will start on April 4th, 2018. The adventure continues. We’ll see you all real soon!

​Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Sony, Simjan

Join us once more for some o’ that there homoerotic lizardman koopa-thingy story “Two Hearts are Better than One” by Etch Feather. Many riveting emotional topics were discussed – including expensive anime figurines, pastries, fractured and angled genitalia, and whether brojobs are hobbies or not!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Sammy

In this episode we’re reading a story about gay lizardmen who are brothers. There must be something in the water that’s turning them that way, if conspiracy theories are to be believed! It’s like our show has been invaded by Alex Jones and his Infowarez, or whatever it’s called. Yup, we’re still reading “Two Hearts are Better than One” by Etch Feather.

GAY LIZARDMEN SIBLINGS. WAKE UP, AMERIKA.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Danyo, Sara

We resume reading “Chronicles of Spider-Man” by JohnSmith and boy does it get awkward. Mostly because of a dude named Craig. Because Craig is not really a sexy name at all. Also Craig does drugs and it all gets really weird and awkward… and still… definitely not a sexy name. We progress from there into uncharted caverns, mostly trying to define concave dimensions on a human being’s body. We also ruined the Crypt Keeper. After at long last wrapping the Spider-Person debauchery, we start “Two Hearts are Better than One” by Etch Feather. Enjoy!

Or don’t… Because it’s awful!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val

Excelsior, true believers!

Surely the spectacular Spider-Man has sensational sexcapades – but not when he’s on the clock! That’s irresponsible! And you know how Spidey is about responsibility… In “Chronicles of Spider-Man” by JohnSmith, Spider-Man, goes on a vacation retreat with other characters where obvious sexual shenanigans are going to occur. Stuff gets gross, but that’s okay! These are superheros, people – they need to blow off steam and when you deal with the kinds of things they deal with you’d be into some rank stuff, too.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val

We go on a Comicsnix-athon (that’s what you call a marathon reading of stories by fanfic author, Comicsnix, of course) – beginning with “Doug Got Abducted“. Then we stopped Doug Got Abducted. It was so bad we had to quit. But then it was on to “Batman in the Bowels of Hell“, which aged like a fine wine.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Val, Judi

WE DID IT! YAY! WE”RE DONE! “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster is finished. Everything was resolved and there were zero open threads and it was totally satisfying and not at all just a relief to be finished. Okay… bold faced lies throughout the last sentence minus the fact that we finished.

But not only is that hot mess over, we’ve started another: “Velma’s Big Dick” by squall. It’s a classic that most of us almost entirely forgot. The fresh horror unearthed is just as bad as it was the first time.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Val, Scout, Waffle

Behold: the on-going nightmare of “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster. The plot dissolves into nothingness and vague recollections leaving us questioning the essentials: why are people giving other people their baby teeth, why are there fuel gauges on breasts, and… Knuckles Jr.  Why?

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: David, Logan, Shawn, Lack of Sense, Wolfboy, ElkinFencer, Joe

With Stevo and Valerie out sick with the flu, the remaining three hosts and gaggle of guests run amok (not really), break several laws (not even close), and read some terrible fanfiction (there we go). We’re back to the world of “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster where apparently there are now Trump supporters. As if everything else wasn’t already terrible about this story! Questionable familiar relations abound in this exciting installment!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Mirri, Afrohawk

“SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster is making us question the basis of most organic processes, like birth and pooping. Alas, we soldier on into another romp back to high school times with our favorite blue blur. This story is so good, in fact, that it ruined two weeks worth of episodes after this with hardware issues! YAY SONIC!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Tehmsu, Zak

We’re finally on the other side of the tunnel and back into the fun stuff. Well, mostly fun stuff. I guess it depends on your definition of fun.

In this episode we start reading “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster. Not to spoil anything, but there’s a lot of drama that anyone who’s been through high school can most definitely, probably, potentially – okay probably actually can’t relate to.

Watch out for fast poops.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Shaggy

FINALLY! We finished it. Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic, “My Inner Life” is DONE. Holy shit, that was awful. So many cat noises. So many quotes that weren’t separated by paragraphs for different people. “My Inner Life” was freaking awful top to bottom. Join us as we celebrate the end of one of the most infamously bad Mary Sue stories in the fanficverse.

We cleanse our pallets with some Cuphead (yes) fanfiction – “The Hand You’re Dealt” by lacrimalis. It’s so well written that Stevo almost breaks down into tears of joy. This week ends on a high note, but there’s something dark on the horizon and fast approaching. Something…blue…?

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Asterol, Swiss

Somewhere, out in the horizon, a silver lining is beginning to take shape. The end of Link’s Queen’s repugnant Zelda fanfic, “My Inner Life” is nearing. In the meantime…

WE WANT THIS RIDE TO BE OVER. PLEASE LET US OFF. WE DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN HYRULE ANYMORE. THIS STORY IS CRIMINALLY BAD. THE SUFFERING IS REAL.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Lios, Troy

HOORAY FOR JAZZ! JAZZ HAS SAVED US! GARFIELD HAS SAVED US! LASAGNA IS LIFE!

We bask in the glory of a story that isn’t Link’s Queen’s “My Inner Life”. Then, unfortunately, we had to go back to “My Inner Life”. Everyone was sad. But we got by, because it’s what we do.

Fortunately “Garfield Land” by Shakespear Hemmingway warms our souls for a moment as the meat, cheese, and noodles of that famous fat cat’s favorite Italian treat warms his cynical cockles. Yes, just about anything is better than the longfic we’re subjecting ourselves to, even fanfic of Jim Davis’ rancid newspaper leavings. This story has broken us so bad. So so so bad.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Disdonn, BigAdam

That’s it. We’ve had enough!

Too many weeks of this drek lucid dreaming Hyrule Mary Sue bull. We finally reach our limit and take a reprieve from Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life”. We read through a few pages but then switch gears to a much more enjoyable story from a much better author, with much more well developed characters and funnier lines and everything: “Garfield Land” by the aptly-named Shakespear Hemmingway.

It was great. Maybe you do really need to go through hell to appreciate reality. Unfortunately, we know we’ll have to go back next week…?

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Mana, Jared

Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life” continues. We have no words anymore. Only cat noises.

There’s no hope.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn, Gorejuice, RhythmBastard

The following message was found in a large glass jar, next to the remains of a fairy of some sort:

“If you’re reading this then I am likely already beyond help. It feels like I’ve been wandering these lands for a millennia already, yet I am no closer to my goal. I don’t remember who I am anymore, or how I’m able to write this. This realm, this entire reality, was created just for me by her. And she will not leave me alone. She says my blue eyes are eternal, and then I am able to see the grotesqueries of eternity as a result. I can see in all of it’s cosmic horror that I am bound to existence only as someone else’s thought. It has taken all of my strength just to write this down in the few hours that she is not here. I don’t know when she’ll return, or what awful rites of passage she will make me undergo. I didn’t want children. I didn’t want adventure. I didn’t want any of this. If you’re not simply another figment of her imagination, I give you only these words:

Do not trust Jenna. Do not interact with Jenna. If you meet someone by that name, run. Run as fast as you can away. I am already doomed.”

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Cyril, Sollux

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! The liberal media of Hyrule is brainwashing you! Okay, no, they’re really not, we just went a bit off the rails with right-wing conspiracy theories this episode. Another week, another pointless session of lucid dream self-indulgence from Link’s Queen’s “My Inner Life”, and her dreamworld of Hyrule.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn

This is the stuff of nightmares. Our Season 5 longfic reading, Link’s Queen’s “My Inner Life”, is so bad that our computer hardware stopped working properly. Yes, we had to re-record this episode on a Sunday because we had technical issues. May the memory forever stain us.

In this episode we finally get to the bonding ceremony (not the good kind of bonding either) – plus pizza burps and general malaise ahoy!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Moguta

Our second foray into the world of Hyrule as lucidly dreamed by Link’s Queen in our Season 5 lognfic reading: “My Inner Life”. For reals, it gets a bit hot and heavy right up until Dracula shows up (our Dracula, not Dracula in the story). Laughs were had, tears were shed, and we definitely ruined a few legacies. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to go commission some Carl on Carl erotic art.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Tom

Behold the cosmic horror that is “American Splits” a story by Heisanevilgenius, aka Peter Chimera, aka Tom White who joins the fantastic fivesome in this very episode! We named it right at the start of our show, even, for no apparent reason! Game of Thrones will never be the same again. Following that, we finally get started on our longfic for the season: “My Inner Life” by Link’s Queen. This thing almost predates the internet, people. It was made in the late 90’s as part of someone’s lucid dream experience in the land of Hyrule, complete with Mary-Sue complex and self-insertion. This is gonna hurt real bad. Real bad.

Drink along with us for the longest author’s note we’ve ever read – so long we only barely get into the sexy on the first episode! HOLD ON TO YA BUTTS.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn Guests: Nodachie, Bubbles

Two “titillating” tales to terrify! The first, “Masturbation for Dummies (Gold Edition)” by Redtana is a My Little Pony fic featuring magical self-pleasuring. It’ll make you ask profound questions like: “does mutual masturbation counts as the ‘friendship’ part of ‘Friendship is Magic’.” The second story, “Tension Relief” by TrainMaster64, will remind you just how creepy Thomas the Tank Engine is and then crank that creep up to 11 with eerie erotica. Toot-toot!?

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn

We return to conclude the confusing and thoroughly inappropriate real-life celebrity fanfic, “Ghost Riding Fergus Riordan” by JakeB, which includes camera angles and confusing genitals. It left a pretty nasty taste in our mouths so we decided to dive right into a My Little Pony story guaranteed to offend with “Rainbow and Sonic have a Religious Experience” by Flutterpriest. It’s awesome to confirm that Jesus not only vapes but also can do sick tricks with a fidget spinner. The smut in that one was questionable, so we move on to our favorite: Sonic crossovers with Freedom Beef’s “Sonic and the Pokéginas“. A perfect balance of right up our alley/not up our alley at all! Lastly, based entirely on things talked about during the show, we read “I Can Fix That” by TheLilacPilgrim, an Anderson Cooper/Stephen Colbert spanking fic that we really hope becomes a live adaptation one day. Anderson Cooper is indeed quite dreamy.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud) Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon