Season 5 Episode 15 – Dark Chocolate Beef Stick

Fanfics read:
Big Bang Theory Gang Bang Orgy (by Baranbrat)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Symphoenix, Scout

Sample forbidden and horrible delicacies and profusely inappropriate renditions of already cringe-worthy TV in Baranbrat’s “Big Bang Theory Gang Bang Orgy“. This… this is gonna suck. And it did. There was LOTS of sucking involved, along with some of the funniest most terrible sexual writing we’ve read this season.

Lumps were identified, Tiduses were laughed, and panties were eaten.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 14 – The Great Chicken War

Fanfics read:
Batman and Robocop The Day the Men Found Love (by ComicsNix)
Doomsday Womb (by ComicsNix)
The Great Dicks of Earth

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Epidehl, Wolfboy

We return to the works of beloved author, Mr. Comicsnix, and the pain, anguish, and laughter that all his writing bestows upon us. In this episode we tackle some old classics involving Batman, Robocop, Superman, and Inspector Gadget in two wonderful tales. First, “Batman and Robocop: The Day the Men found Love“, in which David’s chickens fight and we discuss how phone sex with Robocop would work. Not to be outdone, “Doomsday Womb” is one of the most epic stories we’ve ever read; involving Kryptonite cockrings and Large Hadron Colliders. To round it all off, Val reads a beautiful poem compiled by loyal fan, Kutsu Shita, entitle “The Great Dicks of Earth“. Many jokes were made, many technical issues overcome, and much too much alcohol was imbibed.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 13 – Sir Unicocktapus of Bum Diddles

Fanfics read:
69 hues of Disney the ballad of Gaston and the Kid from Iron Giant (by FlippantTriggering)
Alex Mack meets Sabrina Spellman (by MAW)
Brushmelon

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Beth, Sam

Time to celebrate! We don’t have to read any more of that awful Saved by the Bell fanfiction! …Oh. Great, now we have to read fanfiction about Brushfire and his Melon friend. Yup. We’ve stooped this low, folks. If there were a bottom to this barrel, we would surely have passed it by a few miles by now. Introducing: “Brushmelon“.

We romp through the 90’s with a Disney crossover fic that really knows how to work character appeal: “69 hues of Disney the ballad of Gaston and the Kid from Iron Giant” by FlippantTriggering. And then we go live action and read “Alex Mack Meets Sabrina Spellman” by MAW. Brace yourselvesfor some very “nope” mind control.  But at least the Brushfire thing was kinda sweet, even though it was a friggin’ watermelon.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 12 – The Creamy GooGoo

Fanfics read:
Bangin’ At Bayside (by Cuzintiny)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn. D-LUCKS, Asterol

Cuzintiny’s wretched Saved By the Bell slashfic, “Bangin’ at Bayside” continues! Seriously, this writer only has the capability of writing preteen-vocabulary level sex scenes. There is literally no character development, or plot, or even bagels. If you take meds, take ’em now (unless you shouldn’t mix them with alcohol). Oh wait – you can’t take your meds, because this story already gulped ’em down!

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 11 – Man, He Loved Cum

Fanfics read:
This pic was fun to do, and the idea of a fat Lucca wearing Gato/Gonzales refitted to be a suit made me laugh (by Doomington)
Bangin’ At Bayside (by Cuzintiny)

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Val, Shawn, Joemotycki

We’re kicking this episode off with something highly unusual, visual and fan-submitted! Loyal listener tehmsu commissioned an artist to draw Lucca from Chrono Trigger – hyper plump and sporting a proportionately engorged member. Doomington, the artist in question, liked it so much they penned a short story to go along with it. Presenting “Lucca Futa” (caution: link contains NSFW image) – we couldn’t not read it. There’s much moisture and grossness involved.

Following that, we started reading “Bangin’ at Bayside” by Cuzintiny, which cuts directly to the chase about the copious amounts of sex being had in the Saved by the Bell universe. It’s going to be a two-parter, and even though we’re only a few pages in, we already know it’s going to be a rough one.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 10 – What Even is The Radical Squadron?

Fanfics read:
Twilight Tinkle (by Grassdragon)
Reboot Re-Booty Call (by De-Manged)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, SirSplee

It’s always a treasure when we read some fanfiction by one of our own fans… And it’s got ponies in it… And the ponies are peeing. And also diapers. The story is called “Twilight Tinkle” by first rate pervert GrassDragon. It was really gross and wet and kind of like the worst Super Soaker fight you could imagine possible. Then, we delve into a fanfic about the 90’s CGI show ReBoot: “ReBooty Call” by De-Manged; where there’s incest and it’s also really gross and not fun to read. But hey, this is our life now, and we do it because you enjoy our suffering.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 9 – I Can Smell the Erection

Fanfics read:
face the strange (by unbeatenduck)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Val, Matt

In this episode, we finish up unbeatenduck’s multiversal trollfic “face the strange”. It did not turn out like we hoped, but it did turn out like we predicted. It wasn’t good, but we did it and that’s the bottom line. Life is all about experiences. Experiences sometimes including saying very offensive things that are written and we can’t omit. Not all of us can be David, you know. But we trudged through, and there was no real ending. So we’re none the better for having wasted two weeks on this.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 8 – David Says the P-Word

Fanfics read:
face the strange (by unbeatenduck)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn

Sometimes the awfulness of a bad fanfic is rooted in a genuine love of a property and a lust that the author simply has to express. And sometimes… well, sometimes that bad fanfic might be trolling your ass. We think “face the strange” by unbeatenduck is one such fic. NarutoHarry PotterTwilightSonicX-Men, there’s a whole lot of ugh going on here. Some sentences are amazing and absolutely brilliant… Then we get into the slurs that make us cringe, but we still slogged through to make it over halfway.

Now, if only David could face the fact that he needs a new, working headset, that would help us immensely.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 7 – Oh Hi, Mom. Wait, You’ve Read Shark Porn Before?

Fanfics read:
Battle Monkeys (by CarlosRegerado)
Saltwater (by Komsomol)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Mana, Kyle

Steel yourselves, because we’re back in the vaults and reading more smut from the now-dreaded Kristen’s Collection. First, we have “Saltwater” by Komsomol, which was submitted to us as “like Dolphin Sex, but with Sharks.” We enter some real dream-shaping, shark-humping absurdity where things that aren’t real are apparently real anyway… and learn that claspers are pretty scary stuff.

After that, we read “Battle Monkeys” by CarlosRegerado, which is apparently based on a mobile game. If that game is anything like this story then you’ll be glad you haven’t played it. It features forced cuckolding for primeapes and then a twist ending that made us all feel bad about the human race existing at all.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon

Season 5 Episode 6 – So This is How They Make Bubble Tea

Fanfics read:
Tapioca (by Xalts)
The Sequel (by Xalts)
Tapioca 3 The Return (by Xalts)
A Furnished Denmark (by Mizukotsu)
Artemis’s lover (by Oscar)

Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Val, Cyril, Sollux

Oh. Oh dear. Oh, what has happened here? We read five stories and drudge through the dairy goodness that is Xalts’ Tapioca trilogy; a threesome of stories based on Salamanders in the Homestuck universe. It is very gross and not anatomically or biologically accurate in any way. There’s “Tapioca“, “The Sequel“, and who could forget the riveting finale, “Tapioca 3 The Return“. Delightful.

Following that, we read some fic based off what is itself fanfiction of World War II: Hetalia Axis Powers, with Mizukotsu’s “A Furnished Denmark“. It’s a lovely tale where someone has sex with a couch… and the couch is a person. Then, of course, we close with a story about a boy having sex with a hermaphrodite cat in “Artemis’ Lover” by Oscar. Prepare yourselves for a heaping pile of NOPE.

Direct Episode Download (right-click and save, please only use this is you are unable to download it from Soundcloud)
Direct Episode Download (FLAC) (right-click and save)

Subscribe on iTunes | Follow on SoundCloud | Follow on Twitter | Like on Facebook | Join the Discord | Merch on Teespring | Patreon